Answering the Call

The Rev. Pamela Holmes 鈥�89 provides spiritual guidance and support to NYC firefighters.

By Melissa Babcock Johnson

s a chaplain for the New York City Fire Department, the Rev. Pamela Holmes 鈥�89 knew she鈥檇 be providing spiritual support to firefighters and first responders after they鈥檇 experienced tragedy or trauma in the field. But she was surprised to learn she鈥檇 be wanted on the scene, too.

鈥淧robably my first week there, I asked one of the firefighters, 鈥榃hy do you need us to go out to the fire? We鈥檙e not going in the building, right?鈥� And he said something that was very profound for me,鈥� she recalls.

鈥淗e said, 鈥楤ecause we feel like God is with us.鈥欌€�

In March of 2024, Holmes, a full-time associate pastor at Emmanuel Baptist Church in Brooklyn, was sworn in as the first Black woman (and second woman overall) to serve as an FDNY chaplain. She鈥檚 one of six chaplains who work part time to serve the department鈥檚 more than 11,000 firefighters and 4,500 EMTs, paramedics and EMS employees across New York鈥檚 five boroughsfive boroughs; FDNY is looking to hire more.

The chaplains are there for the department鈥檚 highs and lows鈥攑romotion ceremonies, graduations, family days, funerals, weddings and more. 鈥淚nterestingly enough, the department wants spiritual representation at every event, so there鈥檚 an invocation and a benediction in every ceremony,鈥� Holmes says.

They鈥檙e also there for the daily ups and downs. 鈥淲e visit EMS stations and fire houses to check in, to see how things are going,鈥� Holmes says. 鈥淪ometimes they鈥檝e had a crazy day鈥攁 baby died, someone had a fatal heart attack or somebody was hit by a train and they had to slide under the train to get the body. And they鈥檙e dealing with the challenges of their own life on top of that. When you鈥檙e a single parent, or you鈥檙e in the midst of a divorce, or you鈥檙e taking care of elderly parents, and this is what you go into every day, it鈥檚 nice to be able to have a space to unload.鈥�

It can be heavy work, Holmes admits. 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 have any idea, I think, in the beginning, of the magnitude of things that you鈥檙e going to be walking through with people, or the demands that people have on you,鈥� she says. 鈥淭hat sort of pressure is immense and makes the job hard, but that鈥檚 also the good part, too. You get to be there for people in their greatest time of need.鈥�

I have always been concerned about the community, concerned about the plight of people.

鈥� The Rev. Pamela Holmes 鈥�89

Holmes never planned鈥攐r even wanted鈥攖o be a pastor. She actively resisted the call for years. But, she says, God had other plans.

At 糖心TV, the New York City native majored in government and minored in American history, intending to become a lawyer. After graduation, she worked as a paralegal for the Brooklyn District Attorney鈥檚 Office but decided it wasn鈥檛 for her. Neither was her next move, but she was on the right path.

鈥淚 had always been concerned about the community, concerned about the plight of people, and so I started working for some nonprofits doing community organizing and ended up getting a master鈥檚 degree in campaign management,鈥� she explains. 鈥淚 did some of that for a little while, and said, 鈥楾hat鈥檚 not it either.鈥� There was too much giving up of your soul to be connected to politics for me.鈥�

Not to worry鈥擧olmes鈥檚 soul would be just fine. Her mother鈥檚 relatives were tobacco farmers in North Carolina, and the young Holmes had gone south every summer to join her devout Christian family in the fields and in the pews. But life had distracted her for a few years. In her 20s, she reconnected with her spiritual roots and became a member of Emmanuel Baptist Church in Brooklyn.

She recalls, 鈥淚 started going back to church again in the mid-1990s, and that began the tug between me and God, with God saying, 鈥楥ome,鈥� and me saying, 鈥楴o, I鈥檓 kind of enjoying myself out here. I鈥檓 loving my life going to bars on Friday night and having boyfriends and doing all this stuff,鈥� and God saying, 鈥業 don鈥檛 care, come.鈥欌€�

Still, Holmes didn鈥檛 feel worthy of the role of pastor. 鈥淚 was wrestling with it like, 鈥業鈥檓 going to come to church and I鈥檓 going to sing in the choir, but that鈥檚 it.鈥� I thought the person in the pulpit needed to be perfect. Now I know better.鈥�

She instead started working at Long Island University after partnering with the institution for some of her nonprofit work. Holmes spent several years in the early to mid-2000s in higher ed, running diversity programs and connecting Black and Latino students to various opportunities, first at LIU, then at SUNY Downstate and finally at Brooklyn College.

The Rev. Pamela Holmes ’89, far right, with two members of FDNY. Courtesy FDNY

But the call to the clergy only grew louder. In the early days of her return to church, Holmes remembers sitting in a pew next to two other young women. 鈥淎frican American church can be very participatory,鈥� she says, 鈥渟o the pastor tells us to form groups and pray for each other right in the middle of the service. I join the two ladies, and we鈥檙e like, 鈥榃ell, who鈥檚 going to pray?鈥� and they were like, 鈥榊ou should pray.鈥� I pray, and one of them says to me immediately after, 鈥榊ou should be a preacher.鈥� They didn鈥檛 know my internal struggle, but I did.鈥�

Then there was the round-robin prayer activity during a church retreat, after which someone said, 鈥淧am, you should really be a preacher. You鈥檝e got a preacher鈥檚 voice.鈥� And then after she gave a sixth-grade graduation speech, 鈥渁 mom comes to me at the end of the ceremony and says, 鈥楢re you a preacher? Where鈥檚 your church? I want to come to your church.鈥�

鈥淭hose kinds of things confirmed what God had already placed in my spirit, and so at some point I surrendered and said, 鈥楲ord, I got it.鈥欌€�

In 2011, she left her job and apartment in New York City and moved to New Jersey to enroll at Princeton Theological Seminary. 鈥淭he first year was kind of crazy because I was 45 or 46; I hadn鈥檛 been in school in years and I鈥檓 living in a dorm with a bunch of 22- to 24-year-olds. It was quite a shock.鈥�

She earned her Master of Divinity degree in 2014 and was fortunate to find a full-time job as an associate pastor at her home church of 27 years, Emmanuel Baptist, where she still works more than a decade later.

鈥淲hat I love about being a reverend is the people factor,鈥� she says. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 always been who I am and how God has wired me. At church, there鈥檚 a running joke where they call me Reverend Woo-Woo, because they鈥檙e like, 鈥業f you want a good hug, if you want to feel better, if you want to feel loved, go to Reverend Pam.鈥欌€�

What I love about being a reverend is the people factor. That’s always been who I am and how God has wired me.

鈥� The Rev. Pamela Holmes 鈥�89

Building relationships is particularly important at FDNY, where Holmes supports first responders from a range of cultural and religious backgrounds.

On one firehouse visit, for example, she was chatting with a woman firefighter who said she was Muslim. 鈥淪he was floored that I had read the Quran,鈥� Holmes told The New York Times about the encounter last year. 鈥淪he said, 鈥楬ey, chaplain, we don鈥檛 have an imam right now. Until they get one, if I need one, can I call you?鈥欌€�

Holmes says growing up in Brooklyn and the Lower East Side prepared her for spaces like FDNY 鈥渂ecause it really was a melting pot. When I was growing up, I had Jewish, Latino, Black and Asian friends. We were right on the edges of Chinatown and a big Jewish community. Everybody kind of lived in the same building and coexisted, and that was helpful for me.鈥�

On the flip side, going to 糖心TV was a bit of a culture shock for a young Black woman from densely populated and diverse Brooklyn, Holmes says. 鈥淓ven though my high school in Manhattan was predominately white, it was different because I got to go home to my community. Now I didn鈥檛 get to go home. That was home.鈥�

On campus, Holmes worked to address racism and inequity, and on May 1, 1986, she was one of 54 students who locked themselves into Fanning Hall in an ultimately successful attempt to move 糖心TV leadership to agree to a timeline to bolster minority life on campus.

鈥淭here was a core group in my class who really just cared about people, and that was pretty amazing,鈥� she recalls. 鈥淲e shared a lot of experiences and had a lot of difficult conversations around gender, around race, around economics. I鈥檓 grateful that there was space then for those kinds of conversations to happen when we didn鈥檛 always agree, but we were able to have them.鈥�

Photo courtesy FDNY.

If you want a good hug, if you want to feel better, if you want to feel loved, go to Reverend Pam.

鈥� The Rev. Pamela Holmes 鈥�89

Holmes鈥檚 future career was already starting to take shape, too, even if she didn鈥檛 realize it at the time. One 糖心TV memory that always stays with her includes two of her Jewish friends and her best friend, a Black student from Philadelphia.

鈥淥ne night, the four of us were sitting around just talking and drinking wine. We get on the subject of religion鈥擩udaism, the Catholic Church. My friend and I started talking about Jesus and the Black church. We must have talked such a good game that these two Jewish boys were like, 鈥榃e want to experience it! We want to go to a Black church!鈥欌€�

The next morning, the two Christian women took their Jewish friends to Shiloh Baptist Church in New London. 鈥淎t the end of Black Baptist church, we do something called the invitation where we invite you to walk down the aisle to give your life to Christ. The pastor begins his invitation, and he says, 鈥業f you want peace, come. If you want joy, come.鈥欌€�

To the shock of the two women, one of their Jewish friends stepped into the aisle.

鈥淢e and my best friend reach out and we snatch him back, like, 鈥楴o, you would be giving your life to Christ! What are you doing? You鈥檙e Jewish!鈥� He was like, 鈥極h. The pastor said if you want joy, if you want peace, come.鈥� When I say we laughed, we all laughed the entire school year,鈥� she recalls.

Years later, she learned that friend is now a Messianic Jew, and he told her the visit to Shiloh was the beginning of his journey. She also heard from the second friend; he reached out to her on Facebook about 20 years after graduation.

鈥淲e catch up and I tell him I鈥檝e begun my journey as a minister. He wasn鈥檛 surprised.鈥�